Supergirl No More
by FangZeronos
Summary: Kara takes drastic steps after Lex reveals her secret to Lena.


It'd been two weeks since Supergirl had stopped Lex. In the days since, Lena had been more and more distant, not answering Kara's calls or texts, even turning her away at LCorp, as well as the sparse appearances in CatCo. Kara sighed softly as she felt her friendship with Lena crumbling, hoping she didn't do anything wrong.

Walking into the apartment after a long day at work and a quick dinner with Alex, Kelly, Nia, and Brainy, Kara set her bag on the counter and took her glasses off, rubbing her eyes softly before pulling her hair down and tossing her coat onto the rack. "Lena, what did I do wrong?" she asked the air, sinking into the chairs at the table, resting her head on her hands softly.

"You lied," Lena's voice said, causing Kara to whip around and see the CEO standing on the balcony, arms crossed over her chest as a suit of armor receded from her body. "You lied to me, Kara."

"Lena," Kara said, walking over and forgetting her glasses and that her hair was down. "Why…are you coming in through the balcony? Is that the Lexosuit?"

"Yep," Lena said, letting her arms fall. "I want the truth. Is this you?" She threw a tablet at Kara, the same video Lex showed her playing on the screen, showing Kara blowing Mercy's agents down in the LCorp hallway, walking out of a fire, torching the Red Daughter's cell in Kasnia with her heat vision. "Is that you? Answer me, Danvers."

Kara sighed softly, setting the tablet down and closing her eyes as she nodded softly. "Yes, Lena. I'm Supergirl," she said. "I really wanted to tell you so many times. I tried on the way back from Kasnia that night. When you were saying I was the only person you could trust and who hadn't lied. When I asked you to turn around? I…I was going to tell you right then."

Lena narrowed her eyes. "Three years you kept this from me. You never told me. I should have seen it, but I was too stupid to realize it. Maybe my mother's right. Maybe I can't trust anyone. Everyone eventually lies and leaves me anyway," she said, turning her back to Kara before looking over her shoulder as the Lexosuit formed back around her body. "Lose my number, stop coming around LCorp. You won't be fired from CatCo, but we're not friends anymore, Kara. Go to hell." The helmet closed and she walked off of the balcony, flying off into the darkening skies.

Kara sank to the floor, her hands clenched in her skirt as she felt tears falling down her cheeks rapidly. "Ah!" she screamed, lashing out and swinging her fist through the couch, anger and regret filling her heart. "Goddamn it!" She forced herself up after a few minutes, wiping her eyes before she went to her room and changed into sweats, sitting on her bed and drawing her knees up.

Over the next couple of days, Kara was on autopilot, feeling like she'd lost the last "human" connection she had on Earth that didn't work for the DEO. She responded to calls, met with Alex and told her what happened with Lena, though her sister seemed less interested then she normally would have, and went through the motions and went through life, but her heart wasn't in it anymore. Putting on her cape and tunic, it felt like she was wearing a thousand pounds of lead weights.

The morning of the third day, Kara landed outside of J'onn's office, walking in and sighing softly. "J'onn?" she asked, looking around.

J'onn walked in from the back, smiling softly. "Kara. This is a surprise this early," he said. "What can I do for you?" He looked at her bloodshot eyes, and he walked over to her, taking her hands. "Kara? What's wrong?"

Kara broke down again, telling J'onn everything that happened with Lena. She sat down and wiped her eyes, feeling J'onn sit beside her. "I don't know what to do, J'onn. I don't know how to deal with this. She hates me, and she's got good reason, but…I didn't want to lose her."

J'onn nodded, falling silent. "I can't read your mind, Kara, but I know how you feel about Lena Luthor. Nothing any of us can say to her will change her mind about what's happened, so the most we can do is just give her time and hope that she comes around eventually."

"Or snaps and kills me," Kara said. She bit her lip, getting a bad idea before looking at J'onn. "Do you have any Kryptonite? Just a spare piece?"

J'onn nodded. "I do."

"Can I have it, please?" Kara asked. "I'm not going to poison myself, if that's what you're thinking. I…I want to get rid of Supergirl. All she's done for the city, I can't do it anymore. As long as I have my powers, I'll be tempted to use them and help people, and I don't want that anymore."

J'onn sighed, looking at Kara before he got up and walked over to the bookshelf, pulling it back and opening a safe, pulling out a small lead box before handing it to Kara. "I don't know what you're planning, but please be safe and careful. I do not want to see you hurt, and I know what it would do to Alex."

Kara nodded softly, taking the box and holding it tight. "I'll be fine. I'll go talk to Alex, tell her I'm taking a bit of a break and then I'm going home where my breach device is. I need to go to Earth-1."

J'onn nodded, giving Kara a hug as she stood up. "Just promise me that you won't do anything stupid."

Kara nodded softly, hugging J'onn back and closing her eyes. "I promise," she said.

She tucked the box into her pocket and walked out, making her way into the alley before taking off for the DEO. She landed and told Alex what was going on, saying she was taking a little vacation to Earth-1 and that she'd be back in a few days before flying off back to the apartment. She walked in and shut the door to the balcony, grabbing her journal. She packed a bag and tucked the box in it, grabbing her breach device before opening the portal and walking through to Earth-1, landing on the floor of S.T.A.R. Labs.

Caitlin Snow, also known as Killer Frost, looked over as the camera caught the breach, jogging down to the Cortex and smiling softly. "Kara, hi."

"Hi, Caitlin," Kara said with a soft smile. "You the only one here? I really need a favor, and…you guys are the only ones I trust right now to do this." She took the box out of her bag and opened it up, the dull glow of the Kryptonite filling the room, a green tinge creeping up Kara's neck as she did.

Caitlin's eyes got wide, reaching out and snagging the box from Kara's hands and shutting it. "Are you allergic to this stuff?" she asked, panic in her voice. "Are you insane?"

"Maybe a little," Kara said. "And yeah, I am. But…I need you to make it Gold Kryptonite if you can. I—I want to take my powers away for good. I don't want to be Supergirl anymore."

Caitlin bit her lip and nodded. "Ok. I won't ask why, but I will be curious the entire time I'm working." She glanced down and saw the bag in Kara's hand, cocking an eyebrow. "Vacation?"

Kara nodded. "I needed to get away from Earth-38. I don't know where I'll stay."

"With me. No questions asked and no saying no," Caitlin said with a smile. "Superpowered girl time."

Kara nodded. "Yeah. Should be fun," she said with a bit of a smile. She looked over as she heard footsteps, smiling when she saw Barry. "Hey, Barry."

"Kara!" Barry said, running over and hugging the Kryptonian. "What're you doing here? Is everything alright?"

Kara nodded, hugging Barry back. "Yeah. It's fine. I just needed a break from my Earth. Personal stuff I don't…really want to get into right now."

Barry nodded, smiling softly. "Got it," he said. He knew Kara was hiding something and not telling him, but he knew better then to make her mad. "So…what's going on?"

Caitlin smiled. "Just going run some experiments on something Kara brought me," she said. "See what I can discover."

Kara nodded. "I'm going to stay with Caitlin when I'm here. I don't think Earth-38 money would be any good on Earth-1."

"Probably not," Barry snickered. "I'm heading back up. Iris was on the phone with Joe and Cecile, maybe she's off."

"We'll come with you. I saw Kara on the camera so that's why I was down here," Caitlin said, tucking the small box into her hands and following Barry and Kara.

Over the next few days, as Caitlin worked on the Kryptonite, Kara explored Central City since she'd never really been able to the last few times due to world ending crises. She knew in her head what she was doing was stupid, and she could feel the tugging on her heart to reconsider her plan, but she knew she'd never be happy with balancing Kara Danvers and Supergirl.

"Kara Danvers is who I am," she reasoned with herself in the reflection on the door on the fourth day she was in Central City. She walked into the Lab and yelped when Caitlin grabbed her arm and yanked her into the lab, huffing when she got pushed into the chair. "Good morning to you too, Caitlin."

"I think I might have it," Caitlin said, turning her monitor. "Kryptonite is…difficult to get a reading on since it's _alien_, but I managed it. I've got it processing right now, so it should be ready this afternoon."

Kara smiled a bit and nodded. "Alright. Thank you, Caitlin, really. I…I couldn't ask my sister to do this, and Lena, well, the less said about Lena the better." She sighed softly, rubbing her arms.

"Honey talk to me. Please," Caitlin said. "You wouldn't ask me for something like this if you didn't have a reasoning."

Kara sighed softly, telling Caitlin about having to hide being Supergirl from Lena, one of the women she trusted most in National City and how she finally found out the truth from Lex. After explaining about the confrontation and how Kara didn't defend herself, the blonde sank into her chair and drew her knees up. "I can hear her heartbeat, Caitlin. I focus, and I can hear her no matter where she is on Earth. Lena was the one person that…made Kara Danvers feel like she meant something, and not just as a cover for Supergirl. To hear her say that I wasn't her friend and that I could go to Hell? I wanted to get so drunk I passed out, but I'm an alien and most of Earth's booze can't touch me."

Caitlin nodded. "I don't know if it's the same, but…after Barry changed Time a couple of years ago and created Flashpoint, I got my Killer Frost powers. Well, I'd had them all along, but Flashpoint just unlocked them. That's not the point. The point is, I hid them from Barry and Cisco for as long as I could, but she finally got control. Barry and Cisco never gave up on me. Personally, I don't think taking your powers is a good idea, especially with the looming autumn get-together, but it's your choice," she said with a small smile, looking over as her computer beeped. "Oh. It's done. That was quick."

Crossing the room and grabbing the Gold Kryptonite from the case it had formed in, Caitlin took it over to Kara. "Don't know why it's spiky like that, but aesthetic, I guess. Nothing can ever be normal for a Tuesday in Central City," she said with a smile. "I will leave this with you. I'll put it in the cabinet in the lead box until you're ready."

Kara nodded softly. "Alright. Thank you, Caitlin. Really. I couldn't take this to Alex because I knew she'd flip out on me, and I knew you wouldn't ask too many questions," she said, watching the cold scientist put the Kryptonite away. Waving goodbye to Caitlin who decided to do a lunch run, Kara got up and walked over to the cabinet, opening it and taking the lead box out and setting it on the desk. She opened it and looked down at the gold spiked ridges of the manufactured Kryptonite, and she picked it up softly, surprised by how light it was. She sighed and bit her lip, nodding. "Goodbye superpowers. Goodbye, Supergirl."

Taking a deep breath, Kara held the dagger tightly in both hands before stabbing it into her stomach, yelling as she hit the ground, curling up and shaking as she felt the Kryptonite coursing through her body. That was the last thing she remembered as her eyes fluttered shut, her hands falling off of the Gold Kryptonite and her world went black.

Half an hour later, Barry walked into the Cortex, looking around before seeing the light on in Caitlin's office. "Huh. She never leaves the light on," he muttered, jogging over and nudging the door open. He walked over and shut the cabinet, turning and stopping when his foot nudged something on the floor. He looked down and felt his heart stop as his eyes got wide. "Kara!" He picked her up and zipped across the lab, laying her on a medical bed before he hit his phone and sent an alert. "Kara, talk to me!" He moved her hands and saw the Kryptonite, pulling it out slowly and grabbing a towel to stop the blood flow.

Caitlin ran in, running over to Barry. "Kara!" she yelled. "Goddamn it, I shouldn't have left her alone."

"Caitlin, I want an explanation," Barry said, pushing Kara's shirt out of the way as he started cleaning the wound. "Now!"

Caitlin told Barry everything Kara had said, watching Barry's eyes go from angry to sympathetic in a few seconds. "I didn't know she was going to do this, Barry. I thought she'd just hold onto it and we'd test it to see if she still had her powers. I didn't know she was going to try and kill herself!"

As the next day crept along, Barry and Caitlin both stayed near Kara, Iris even checking on her once in a while. On the second morning after stabbing herself, Kara sighed as she slowly woke up, pressing her hand to her head and one to her stomach as she tensed up in pain, looking around softly.

"Kara," Iris said with a gentle smile as she looked up from her phone. "Thank God. What were you thinking?"

"I was…getting rid of my powers," Kara whispered. She strained to try and hear anything outside of the room, closing her eyes as tears fell down her cheeks softly. "They're gone…I can't hear anything out of the Lab."

"Of course, they're gone," Barry said as he walked in, sitting beside Iris and putting his hand on Kara's arm. You almost died, Kara. If I hadn't seen the light on in Caitlin's lab, who knows when someone would have found you. Why would you be that reckless?"

"Because…I am sick of my powers always costing me people I love, Barry," Kara said, looking over at her friend. "You can't tell me you're not sick of it, too. H.R., your parents, Eddie. Everyone you've lost."

Barry nodded, sighing softly. "But I wouldn't give up what gives me the ability to save the ones I can."

Kara opened her mouth to say something, but she stopped as pain surged through her. "Ow…fuck!" she groaned, doubling up and wincing. "Oh…I'm not used to this…"

"You'll get used to it," Barry said, squeezing Kara's hand softly. "Two more days in the bed, and then you can up and walk."

"Yes, Dr. Allen," Kara said with a light salute.

After being allowed to get up from the bed, Kara gathered her things from Caitlin's and got ready to go home, deciding it was time since she'd been gone nearly two weeks. Standing in the middle of the lab, she hefted her bag over her shoulder softly, the portal device in her hand.

"Be careful," Barry said, hugging Kara tightly. "No powers means no running into burning buildings or trying to stop cars, Kara."

"Yes, sir," Kara said, hugging Barry back. "I'll be safe. I'm going home, going to call Alex and take the ass chewing I know is coming, and…hopefully going to be getting on with my life. My depowered life." She hugged Iris and Joe, biting her lip as she looked at Caitlin. "Caitlin, I—"

Caitlin hugged Kara, shaking her head softly. "It's alright. You don't have to explain to me," she said, rubbing Kara's back. "Just don't be a stranger, alright?"

Kara smiled softly and nodded. "Alright," she said, stepping back and turning around. "Bye, guys." She hit the portal and walked in, popping out back in her apartment. She walked over and unlocked the door, sighing softly before she turned her phone on and texted Alex to come over after work, saying they needed to talk.

An hour later, Kara set her glass down as she heard the door, looking over and seeing Alex walking in with a pair of pizzas. "Hi, sweetie," the older Danvers said, kissing Kara's head and setting the pizzas down. "What's so super important I had to rush over from the DEO?"

Kara sighed, standing up and making her way into the kitchen before taking a knife. "Watch," she said, holding her hand up and cutting her fingertip. She set the knife down and turned her hand, blood trickling down her finger.

"What the hell!?" Alex yelled, jumping up and running into the kitchen. "Kara Danvers, what in the hell!?"

Kara washed her hands and bandaged her finger, not meeting Alex's eyes as she told her what she'd been doing on Earth-1. After finishing, she turned and looked at the lividity in Alex's eyes, grunting as Alex lashed out and slapped her across the side of the face. She hit the counter, tears in her eyes.

"Goddamn you," Alex said. "How can you be so selfish!?"

"ME?!" Kara screamed. "When I told you what Lena did, you didn't even say anything! You just looked at me and said, "It'll work itself out," and left it at that! I came to my sister for support and advice, but you brushed me off because of _Kelly fucking Olsen_ and the big date that night! If anyone was selfish, Alexandra, you were!" Her hands clenched, and she glared at Alex. "I didn't want to be Supergirl anymore since I could always hear Lena's heartbeat, Alex. I couldn't live with that! Being just Kara Danvers…it's the most freeing thing I've done!"

"You're a fucking dumbass," Alex said, grabbing her bag and heading for the door. "You really are, Kara. When the city goes to hell in a handbasket, you're going to regret taking your powers away." She walked out and slammed the door, muttering under her breath. "Stupid fucking alien…"

Kara screamed and stormed off, collapsing on her bed and shaking as she grabbed her pillow and screamed into it, tears burning her eyes as she did. She got up and changed clothes, storming out of the apartment and heading out, not caring where she ended up. Her feet took her straight to the one place she didn't want, standing outside of Lena's office at LCorp. "Fuck," she said, running her hand in her hair as she turned her back to the door. "No. Just…no." She started for the elevator, stopping when she heard the door open to Lena's office.

"Kara?" Lena's voice asked, Kara closing her eyes as the familiar cadence filled her ears, her heart thundering against her chest. "Kara, look at me. Please?"

Kara turned around softly, trying to hide her emotions. "Hi, Lena…" she said, wrapping her arms around herself softly.

"Normally you come in the balcony. Why not this time?"

"Because you told me to go to hell, remember? The night you flew into my apartment in your brothers battle armor and bit my head off for lying about being Supergirl," Kara said, starting to lose her grip on her emotions. "And…I can't fly anymore. Not after the last couple of weeks."

Lena sighed softly, nodding and dropping her hands. "Right…I remember," she said. "What do you mean, you can't fly anymore? Did you do a solar flare and use up your powers for a day?"

"No. I…I went to Earth-1, asked my friend to make me Gold Kryptonite," Kara said, walking into Lena's office when she stepped out of the way. "I, um, I don't have my powers anymore. I gave them up."

"I doubt it, Kara. You'd never give up your powers," Lena said, smiling softly. "Never. Not in this lifetime or any other."

Kara rolled her eyes softly. "I gave up my powers!" she yelled, slamming her hand onto the top of Lena's desk and wincing, leading Lena to start thinking she was telling the truth. "I went to Earth-1 and had my friend there make Gold Kryptonite, and I stabbed it into my stomach, Lena! I tried to kill myself with Kryptonite while taking my powers away because I hated what I did to you! I hated lying to you! I wanted to _die _so you wouldn't have to look at me again! Do you have any idea how that feels?" She moved to sit but slipped and landed on the floor, wincing softly as tears fell down her cheeks fast. "I gave up Supergirl because…I don't deserve those powers if I can't tell _the person I care for most _the truth."

Lena walked over and knelt in front of Kara, taking her hands softly. "Kara…Kara, I am so sorry," she whispered, tears filling her own eyes. "I…I can apologize until I'm blue in the face, but—"

Kara shook her head. "Stop…stop, Lena. You had every right to get mad at me and cut me out of your life. I lied to you for years, after swearing I'd never lie to you and that I was always in your corner. I'm sorry…I'm sorry I let the lie go for so long, Lena…"

Lena wrapped her arms tightly around Kara, the tears in her eyes spilling over as she held her best friend close. "It's ok, honey. It's ok…I know why you did. I'm so sorry…"

Kara clung to Lena, burying her face in the CEO's shoulder as she shook with silent sobs, everything she'd been feeling for the last weeks being allowed to finally break free. The two sat hugging each other for a while until Kara's sobs finally subsided, taking a shuddering breath as she pulled away.

"Better?" Lena asked, wiping Kara's eyes softly. "Honey…I never meant to make you feel like you needed to take your powers away. I was just upset, and…"

"And you had every right to be," Kara said, brushing her hair out of her face softly. "I lied to you, Lena. After years of you telling me that I was the one person you could trust because I didn't have an agenda or wasn't lying and manipulating you, but that's exactly what it was. I was refusing to tell you because…you were the first person in a long time to want to know Kara Danvers for who she was, not because she was secretly Supergirl. You were the only one that treated me like I was human, not an alien."

"Like you were the first person to treat me like I wasn't a Luthor," Lena said, sighing softly. "We both bungled this up, didn't we?"

"Yeah," Kara nodded. "We're both screwed up."

"That's the truth," Lena said, standing up and helping Kara up. "Something…you said before. _"I don't deserve those powers if I can't tell the person I care for the most the truth." _Did you mean that?"

Kara nodded softly. "Yeah," she said. "I, uh…I've been grappling for a while about something, and…it's always you. It's always been you. All the time we've spent together, it got to be more then friendship to me. Being Supergirl, I could always hear your heartbeat, no matter where you were. When you said I wasn't your friend anymore, that was when I decided to give up my powers. I didn't want to hear your heart beating if you hated me."

Lena nodded, biting her lip and smiling softly. "Well, let me tell you something," she said, stepping closer. She smiled as she watched the color in Kara's cheeks rise, and she reached down and took Kara's hands. "Close your eyes." When Kara did, Lena took her chance. She leaned in and kissed her best friend, giggling when she heard Kara's squeak of surprise before feeling her get into the kiss. She pulled back and smiled, looping her arms around Kara's neck as the blonde opened her eyes. "I don't hate you. I don't. I never have, and that was just the anger talking. I'll apologize for that until we're old and grey. I love you, Kara Danvers, and I have for a long time."

Kara smiled, kissing Lena again and pulling her close. "I love you too," she whispered, threading her hands into Lena's hair and pulling her in for a third kiss.

"Keep that up, Danvers, and we'll have a problem," Lena whispered against Kara's lips. She nipped Kara's lip, moving her arms down and snaking them around Kara's hips.

"Hm…it might be a good problem then," Kara said. "You've got a bigger bed then I do, Lee."

"I do," Lena said with a smirk. "And a closet full of toys that have never been used."

Kara smiled, taking Lena's hands. "Well…it'll be fun to finally use one and not break one with super pelvic muscles."

"Then let's go," Lena said, reluctantly pulling away from Kara and grabbing her things, shutting her computer off. The pair ran for the door, racing for the elevator. Lena hit the button first, Kara laughing.

With the pain of betrayal behind the two, Kara Danvers and Lena Luthor knew that they'd always have each other's backs no matter what happened.


End file.
